Just in Time

A Little Way of Homeschooling-
Thirteen families Discover Catholic Unschooling
By Suzie Andres...Forward by Mike Aquilina



Are you blessed with one of those friends who just seems to know when your gonna need a little pick me up? I'm blessed with a few of them and one of them I think of as sort of like a mentor of sorts... someone who is a few years a head of me on this journey of motherhood and who is just so darn inspiring. She seems to understand most of what I'm going through and has been there and done that. Well, she blessed me the other day with this book and just seemed to know that I was going to be needing the inspiration and affirmation.

I'm doing the best I can here and I'm going to be always trying to do better but I do have a set of core beliefs that just aren't going to change no matter how some may feel about them. They aren't going to stand before God in judgement for my decisions.... I am. I do not believe in birth control.... the Church teaches its wrong...each and every child is a blessing.

 I practice NFP and I do my best. Am I activity trying to conceive right now..no. And if I was I probably would be. I am blessed with fertility not cursed! Why is it that at times others make me feel like it is a curse. Am I ever going to feel anything but fear and apprehension when it comes time to tell family members if God does choose to bless us again with another life...no and thats so sad but so true. Wont be any different than its been for years.
Okay, there is sooo much more I would like to say but I think I'm just going to hold my tongue and pray about it.... I dont want to go to Divine Liturgy this morning feeling like this....angry, sad, and disappointed. Man, now I feel like I need to go to confession for all the thoughts that have been swirling around in my head!
Blessed St. Anne pray for me and all mothers for peace, gentleness of spirit and acceptance.  In the Name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit....Amen.

Another Prayer Answered

So I have been looking into taking a NFP class so I can get some "formal education" on the subject instead of just doing the reading on my own but I havent had any luck yet so I thought I would just order the materials from Couple to Couple League but wow its pricey, too much for me right now so then I looked up the books on Paperbackbookswap- an awesome site if your a booklover, and we have a few in this house- and I was so excited cause a found quite a few of them and I had 6 credits to spend but the main book, the most expensive one, wasnt there. I put it on my wish list thinking it will never end up on there cause its like a $70.00 book but to my suprise and delight when I logged on and checked my email this morning there was an email from PBBS that said my wish- my prayer- had been granted and someone posted The Art of Natural Family Planning lastnight. What a blessing. Can you believe it, less than 12 hours! I'm so happy right now, can you tell? God is good.

Still Waiting.....

Well, its been a week since I last posted about waiting for this baby and I'm still pregnant. I went to the midwives on Thursday and I haven't really gotten anywhere. Now I have to say that when things do start happening with me they do seem to progress fast but I'm starting to get a little frustrated because I am having so much lower back pain. My right leg is causing me alot of pain and I am basically crawling up my stairs to get to our only bathroom and the bedroom. This worries me because I dont do pain meds and I walk, walk, walk to get through the pain of my labors and if this back and leg pain keeps up I dont know if I will be able to do that because sometimes it just feels like my leg is going to give out.
So, today I go to the midwives again and I'm hoping that I have progressed far enough that they can just strip my membranes or break my water and we'll be on our way. I have been having contractions and they were pretty regular the other night but now they are just sporadic- that can be normal for me too.
Okay, I'm gonna go now and pray for a quick, safe delivery and a healthy baby before anyone else wakes up and the busy day starts again.

Things I wont miss about being pregnant...

Well, its nearly 3:00 a.m. and I was just woken up by yet another stupid dream. I cant stand dreaming but my dreams are so much more frequent and vivid when I'm pregnant and I wake up several times a night angry, scared, tired and frustrated. Often my head hurts also, so I end up with a stress headache.
Leg cramps are another thing I wont miss. I never get them except when I'm pregnant. I had such a bad one 2 nights ago my calf is still sore. I try and remember not to stretch but I sometimes forget and they hurt so bad you just want to scream.
Next would be those stabbing pains in you sides that make you not be able to move. Its always worse for me at night when I go to roll over and out of no where the pain is so bad your afraid to move. Its always worse in the middle of my pregnancy when I'm growing quickly.
Okay,1 more thing and then I'll stop complaining...acid reflux and heartburn. Just awful. If there were one thing I could do with out it would be this one. Luckily it will-hopefully- go away as soon as the baby is born and I have more room in there. Atleast thats what happened with #4. I cant and couldn't eat anything tomato based with out regretting it, even the smallest amount of ketsup, but the day after he was born a good friend brought me pizza to the hospital to eat and I was fine. I cant wait to have sauce again.
Now somethings I'll miss...
Of course #1 is feeling the baby move. Even though it can be sometimes annoying to have those little toes digging into your ribs I have to admit that I treasure every movement now since having 2 miscarriage's. And with this baby my placenta as mostly in front so I didn't feel him move nearly as much or as early as my other babies.
I am also going to really miss by big round tummy. It has stayed so nice and smooth without stretch marks- those are other places- I just love rubbing it!
I'm also going to miss the feeling of never being alone.
Well, now its nearly 3:30 so I better try to fall back asleep, for a few hours anyway till another stupid dream wakes me and I have to then get up to pee and have a snack. Pretty soon the reason I wake in the middle of the night will be to nurse a sweet baby back to sleep. It seems like that time will never come but it will probably be within a week. I go to the midwives in a few hours so we'll see.
Sweet dreams.